Episode 58 Shownotes - A Compelling Reason to Live Healthy

You are listening to Best Life After Cancer, Episode Number 58.  Today, I will talk about my “why” that helps me follow my plans for healthy eating and limiting alcohol.  This is a necessary step to help you create a plan and stick to it! 

Hey, friends!  We are just getting home today from a week in Maine with my parents, my family, and my brother and his family.  We have gone to the same place in Maine every year since I was born, and I think I only missed 2 summers - one during medical school, and one when I was pregnant with the twins - they were born in August, and before that, I was too uncomfortable to sit in the car for 9 hours, and after, we were trying to survive newborns!  We did go when Miles was born, also in August.  We went up when he was only 10 days old, which I have to say was maybe a bit crazy. This annual tradition is part of what keeps me centered and whole - a respite of sorts.  10 days, no tv, no laptop, outdoors, with family.  We did 4 good hikes, played card and board games, I did some paddle boarding, though not as much as some years, as this year was cool, windy and overcast most days and the lake was rough.  I read a whole book, sitting on the deck in the breeze with a beer.  Heaven.  It is such fun to watch my and my brothers kids interact.  I have 4 boys and he has 3 girls.  The kids are allowed to be with whatever part of the family they want to hang out with.  My youngest spent all of his time playing in the lake or making mud pies with my brother’s two youngest daughters, and he slept in my parents’ cabin every night - I feel like I barely saw him!  My brother’s oldest daughter teamed up with my 3 older boys for hikes, games and more.  My brother has a little 2nd hand catamaran that I think he bought before we had kids, and he and I will often go for a sail - just us, not talking, just enjoying the wind and waves and views.  Yesterday, we sailed back into a shallow off the beaten path harbor and spent an hour hunting for cool driftwood.  My husband spends hours dragging the kids behind my parents tiny, beat up work boat on the hot dog we’ve had for more than 10 years - the goal being to see how quickly he can throw them off it and into the water, while they hang on for dear life.  All of us eat our meals together, and each family takes turns making a meal.  If there is one thing I wish I could give to each of you, it is a week like that every year with your family, just being together and enjoying each other’s company.  You don’t need a fancy, all inclusive hotel, a top of the line speed boat or the Hamptons to find perfection I think.  I’d love to hear how you spend your family time!  We drove home today, and I am writing this podcast as we drive, while my husband chuckles beside me, listening to comedy as he drives, and my kids snooze in the back.  Even the dogs are quiet - all you can hear is the tapping of the keys as I type, his occasional giggles and snorts, and the rain on the windshield.  I will record this when I get home, edit it quickly and get it out to all of you!

Enough about that - let me tell you what you came here for.  Today, I am going to teach you one of the early lessons from my post-cancer weight loss program to help you understand some of the work we do in the program.  Today’s lesson is on creating an unshakable reason to lose weight or stop drinking, and then brainstorming how this answers all of the excuses you might have to stray from your plan.  In the program, we also work to uncover the reasons why you eat or drink even when you plan not to, which, let me assure you, is NOT just because you are a Foodie, which is what I really, truly believed my issue was. Also in the program, we develop a framework that includes a good food and alcohol plan and I teach you how to stick to it without will power.  We deal with the setbacks and bumps in the road in a way that fosters growth instead of further derailment.  The program is a safe harbor, with other cancer patients struggling with similar issues of fear, changes in body image, testing anxiety and metabolism changes.  It provides accountability and motivation.  The weight loss program is enrolling now and will begin on September 7th of 2021.  If you are unaware of what I offer, I have a 3 month group weight loss coaching program.  It includes weekly group coaching via Zoom, teaching videos, self directed worksheets, a group site where you can interact with other members and more.  I have had great success with my first two weight loss coaching groups, with great weight loss success, and truly life changing results for clients with improvements in cancer fear, improved body image, and creation of a healthy lifestyle to maximize cancer cure rates.  This program does not include any drugs, surgeries, or unsustainable techniques to lose weight.  It is not an alternative to proven medical care for cancer, but helps to create a lifestyle that increases odds of cure by taking steps that decrease risk.  I will tell you at the end of this how to get more information and sign up for a minisession to discuss whether the program is a good option for you. 

OK - so to follow your plan, you need to have a compelling reason why.  This MUST be more compelling than the reasons you want to eat.  I am going to go through my most recent brainstorming on this, as I have had a time lately that I have struggled more with food.  You brainstorm all of the reasons you want to be at a healthy weight and all of the reasons you want to eat and drink off plan.  Then you use the reasons why you want to be healthy to override the reasons you want to eat.  So, I will give you my list of why I want to be at a healthy weight.

First, is my brain health.  My father, both of his sisters, and his mother all developed significant, life altering dementia.  I truly believe that a diet that keeps me thin and with healthy arteries will decrease my risk of dementia.  This is important because I want to be here physically and mentally to enjoy retirement, my grandchildren and more.  I want to stay mentally intact to continue this new work I am doing creating a community for cancer patients to thrive.  I also want to reduce my risk of diabetes.  I had gestational diabetes with the twins, which significantly increases the risk of getting diabetes later in life.  With diabetes comes risks of neuropathy, visual issues and more that I would like to avoid.

I want to reduce my aches and pains.  I have a lot of joint pain when I eat a lot of flour and when I am heavier.  This makes it hard to sleep, because my hips hurt when I lay on my sides, and I feel ancient when I first get up and walking. 

I want to be better able to be active and keep up with my husband and kids.  When I weigh less, I can hike faster and longer.  I can run and jump and have more energy for active pursuits.  When you hike, if you have extra weight, it is like putting dumbbells in your pack and carrying them with you for miles and miles. 

I want to have less thoughts about food, less focus on what I want to eat, less of my life revolving around food.

I want to be a role model for my patients and my clients.

I want to wear white pants and have them look good.

I want to put on pants and not have to feel like they are always tight on my butt or thighs.

I want to minimize my GI issues - I have belly pain and GI issues if I have dairy and flour isn’t great either.  When I eat them, I feel less well.

I want to be true to myself and my long term goals.

Now, I brainstorm why I might want to eat or drink off of my plan.

I want to feel better in the moment.  I’ve been so good, I deserve it.  The food looks good.  I think it will taste good.  The day is stressful, and I deserve a treat.  I need a pick-me-up.  I am bored.  I am anxious.  I want food to entertain me.  Because someone made it for me, and I don’t want to disappoint them.  NOTICE - these are all THOUGHTS, not facts!  We may not even be aware of them in the moment.  When we have a thought hundreds or thousands of times, we relegate it to the lower part of our brain and it becomes a HABIT, because our brains want simplicity and ease of processing.  So you may not be aware of the thought, you may just feel the urge.  If you allow the urge to be there, and don’t eat the food, you can become aware of what the thought is that brought on the urge.  Then, we can address them!

What about why I might want to drink alcohol off of my plan?  I want to relax after a hard day.  I want to be entertained.  This party, gathering, event, is boring without alcohol.  When I am out, I may think, I am getting tired, and I know a few drinks will get me over the hump. 

So, how can I leverage my compelling reasons to overrule the reasons I want to eat?  I take each reason I want to eat, and apply one of the reasons I don’t want to that fits. Let me show you how I did this with each of my examples:

I want to feel better in the moment.  I answer this with “what I want is to feel better lifelong, without neuropathy from diabetes or joint pain from obesity.  If I eat to feel better for 20 minutes, it is going to bring me years of feeling poorly”. 

I have been so good and I deserve it.  My answer:  What I actually deserve is a full, long, healthy, active life without alzheimer’s.

It looks good.  My answer:  Yes, it looks good now, but my other option is for ME to look good all summer in white pants.

It will taste good.  My answer:  First, it often doesn’t taste as good as I think it will.  Second, tasting good is just a minute.  Feeling good is forever.

I am stressed out, and it will help.  My answer:  I will feel less stress now, but more stress over the upcoming weeks when my pants are too tight and pinch and squeeze.

I need a pick-me-up.  My answer:  what I need is to be in a healthy body  that isn’t always tired, achy and needing a pick me up!

Someone made it and I don’t want to disappoint them.  My answer:  I don’t want to disappoint myself, my patients and my clients.  I want to be true to myself and my long term goals.  And why do I need a friend who pushes food?  We definitely have to talk about that!

I am bored, and food will entertain me.  My answer:  I want a healthy body so my LIFE can entertain me, with hiking, swimming, skiing, ballroom dancing and more.

What about alcohol?

I want to relax after a hard day.  My answer:  it will be even more relaxing to take a walk, and won’t have a downside. 

This party or event is boring without alcohol.  My answer:  if it really is boring, it is ok to go home and do something I actually want to do, and not drink to try to make it fun.  Or, I can stay and just let it be boring!  In the moment, I often tell myself, I don’t need a floofy drink to sugar-coat the event.  If is is boring, I can either choose to stay and make it fun or leave.

Everyone is doing it - this goes for food and alcohol.  My answer:  It can be keeping up with drinking with everyone here, or keeping up better with my family on the hiking trails.  Which will bring more long term happiness?

I am getting tired, and a few drinks will perk me back up.  My answer:  I will be more perky tomorrow if I don’t drink too much today and feel good tomorrow!

I hope you can see, there is no “one answer fits all”.  If I only have one reason, it will be harder to overcome every scenario.  This brainstorming work is something we talk a lot about at the start of the program, and really helps to hone and focus people on WHY losing weight or stopping drinking is important to them. If the program sounds amazing, take a look on the website under services to learn more and read a few reviews.  You can sign up for my newsletter to get first access to sign up for the free webinars I am doing in August as well! Hope to see you there!